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It was only a matter of time.
I had known the day would come. I had done my part to prepare for it, but to no avail. I wasn't really surprised, no one in Sadie's family believes in planning ahead, so why should she.
I clearly remember her saying "I never get sick, I just don't. Nothing's going to happen to me."
As I stood at the counter in the urgent care facility, I was hating the fact that on every form we were required to fill out, I was considered a nobody.
Who was I (to Sadie) they asked? She might have wanted to answer, an "almost mom," a friend, a mentor but in the eyes of the world, those things meant nothing. To them, I was no one.
Just a physical address on a form. It felt weird not having a box to check, or a place to write an explanation of who I am to Sadie. To explain that she lives with us, is a vital part of our family, is my almost daughter, and is loved. A lot.
Not having an official title when it comes to our relationship does not stop me from loving her like my own. Or from getting frustrated at her like I do my own. I worry about her just as much as I do the boys. Maybe even a bit more.
As I sat outside the exam room and remembered her words, nothing's going to happen to me, I realized I should have been more diligent about making sure she got her insurance squared away. I should have insisted she found out if she was indeed covered under her family's insurance policy, and got a copy of their card. Only thing is, it isn't just her I need to get squared away, it's also her family. They are the ones with the authority and the rightful titles. Mother, Father, Adoptive parents. Unfortunately when the chips are down, they usually are no where to be found.
I should be angry, but I'm not. I'm sad. Sad for Sadie that it must feel sometimes that she is alone in this world, and worse yet, that she had to feel that way growing up. Sad that her adoptive family, who was supposed to guide and teach her for all of the 18 years before I met her, didn't do their job properly. They may have tried, but in reality it wasn't enough. She deserved better.
She deserves better.
I checked into it. There is adoption for adults. This week we asked if she'd let us adopt her. She's thinking about it.
She doesn't just live here....she is one of us. We want to make it official.
And selfishly, I want to be able to check my name by the box that says "mother."